Focusing on what you have is very important for contentment. But it is easy to focus on what you don’t have. Every day we see images and messages on billboards, magazines, TV, and catalogs. Many of them tell us that what we have is not good enough. Also, many people compete for status on social media and in real life. They do it by showing off what they have.
The best way to deal with these is to ignore them. We also need to focus on what we have. But these can be easier said than done. So we will look at the ways to do them:
Realize that all possessions are either tools or useless.
Every useful possession is a tool to do something. For example, a bed is a tool for lying down in comfort. When people buy repair tools (such as screwdrivers), they have a special need for these tools. Also, they wouldn’t waste time and money at the hardware store if they already had one that works. This is the right mindset when it comes to all material things. So, before you buy something, you should ask the following question:
Do I need it for a task that nothing else that I have can fulfill?
If your answer is “No”, then you don’t need it. This can apply to extra pairs of shoes, cellphone upgrades, and many other things.
If you can’t or won’t use something, then it is useless to you. And if it’s useless to you, then it’s as good as garbage. Also, buying things you don’t need will often lead to having things you don’t use. After all, if you had something else that works, then one of them will become redundant. And if you had no use for it, then you bought garbage.
With this understanding, you will focus on the things you have and if they work.
Realize that happiness and fulfillment come from experiences.
As I said, possessions are only tools. And these tools are made to help with experiences. This means that the experiences are what’s important. These include physical and emotional experiences. So, experiencing physical comfort is a sign that you have met your physical needs. These include things like sustenance, sanitation, and protection from the elements. But once you are comfortable, extras will not add comfort. So, if your room is at the right temperature, making it warmer or cooler will not add comfort.
Your happiness and fulfillment come from emotional experiences. They include experiences of the following types:
Spending time with people you enjoy being around.
Doing and experiencing things you enjoy.
Experiences that make you feel better about yourself.
Moments of inner peace.
Recognizing your good fortunes.
A possession can only help in your happiness and fulfillment if it helps in one of these experiences. If it doesn’t, then it adds nothing to your happiness or fulfillment. Also, recognizing your good fortunes implies focusing on what you have. It goes against focusing on what you don’t have.
Realize that having too many things can degrade your quality of life.
Too many things can degrade your quality of life. A glance inside a hoarder’s home makes this clear. Also, many people have garages but park their expensive cars on the street. It’s because their garages are full of worthless stuff. So, they can’t even bring in groceries on a rainy day without getting wet.
Every room has limited space. If you cram too many things in it, you will run out of space. If this happens, clutter will pile up on horizontal surfaces. Organizing things will become difficult or even impossible. So, too many things can waste your space, time, and effort. Understanding this will make you less focused on getting things you don’t have.
Remove things that you don’t use.
When you remove things you don’t use, you will notice some improvements. This is especially true if you stop buying unnecessary things. You will have more space, which is easier to keep tidy. This is because you will have more places to put the fewer things. You will also have more free time.
So getting rid of things you don’t use will improve your quality of life. This means that you had too many things. Beginning minimalists often realize this during decluttering. As you declutter more, you will go from having too many things to having everything you need. If something breaks, fixing or replacing it will bring you back to having everything you need. Knowing this will bring a level of satisfaction that is alien to most people. You will start to lose interest in unnecessary things you don’t have. This contentment has created many true believers in minimalism.
Know that there are limits to needs and usefulness.
As I said before, there are limits to your physical needs. If you meet them, you experience comfort. Beyond that, extras of what made you comfortable will not add comfort. So, eating more will not add comfort if your stomach is already full. There are also limits to what you need from a possession. For example, if your cellphone does everything you need it to do, you don’t need an upgrade.
Now many ads give a different impression. But they represent merchants who try to sell you stuff you don’t need. That is why many ads claim that you need things that you don’t. So here is a good rule:
If you didn’t think you need something before seeing an ad or the product, you probably don’t need it.
So, if you are comfortable, and everything you have works, you might have everything you need. And if you have everything you need, then you don’t need to focus on the things you don’t have.
Choose style over fashion trends.
You should always like the clothes you wear. Some people choose their clothes based on fashion, and others choose based on style. Fashion is what the world presents to you. And your style is what you present to yourself and to the world. If you choose based on fashion, then it means at least one of 2 things:
You let others dictate what you like.
You wear things you don’t like so you can please others.
In either case, others are telling you what to wear. Also, in these cases, “others” are merchants who are trying to sell stuff to you. This means that merchants would dictate what you wear if you choose fashions. And if they want you to buy more stuff, they only have to change the fashion trend. This tactic will get you to focus on what you don’t have. Also, the trendier a fashion is, the sooner it goes out of fashion and the dumber it looks when it does.
But things are different if you choose based on style. You are not worried about keeping up with the latest trend. Instead, you can have a timeless style. And you will be wearing whatever makes you look and feel your best. This will allow you to focus on what you have instead of what you don’t have. This concept of style vs fashion applies to more than clothes. It can apply to other things such as jewelry, electronics, and interior decor.
Don’t compare yourself to others.
Comparing yourself to others can be a major distraction. It causes you to see your life as a competition. Possessions that work well are now not good enough because someone else got a newer model. This mindset distracts you from the good things in your life and reduces your happiness. It leads to toxic emotions such as envy. It even causes many people to go broke by keeping up with the Joneses.
Understand that someone will always have something that you don’t. This is true even if you are the richest person. Just remember that if you live in comfort, you have everything you need.
Limit time on social media.
Social media can be great for connecting with old friends. But many people use it to show off, and others use it to watch people showing off. If you watch someone show off, it’s easy to compare your life to that person’s. This can lead to the problems that come with comparing yourself to others. To make matters worse, many people exaggerate about their lives being exciting. Sometimes they lie. This compounds the problems caused by comparison. If you can reduce your exposure to this, then that’s good. If you can avoid it, then that is even better. Then you can focus on the life that you have.
Work with a charity.
Working with a charity is a great way to appreciate what you have. When you work with the less fortunate, you realize that your life is quite good. You will also learn that you don’t need many things to live a happy life. Also, helping others teaches you that there is more to life than possessions. When you combine these, you will develop a sense of gratitude for what you have. You will worry less about the things you don’t have.
In summary, here is how to focus on what you have instead of what you don’t have:
Realize that all possessions are either tools or useless.
Realize that happiness and fulfillment come from experiences.
Realize that having too many things can degrade your quality of life.
Remove things that you don’t use.
Know that there are limits to needs and usefulness.
Choose style over fashion trends.
Don’t compare yourself to others.
Limit time on social media.
Work with a charity.
These will take your focus off things you don’t have. They will also give you a greater appreciation for what you have.