There are many possible reasons for a complicated life. Also, any of them can complicate your life by themselves. They can also complicate your life in different ways. Some cause a shortage of resources such as time, space, and money. Some cause internal conflicts. Some others even cause you to worry about things that you don’t need to. It’s even worse if you have to deal with a combination of the above. Regardless, it is best to avoid these problems if you can. So, here are some reasons why life is so complicated:
There are too many things on your to-do list.
This is one of the main sources of complications in life. We all have only 24 hours in each day. We need some of those hours for sleeping, eating, and relaxing. If you have too many things to do, you can run out of time. In that case, you will either lose sleep or keep getting further behind. Unnecessary commitments are major contributors to this problem. This comes from taking on too many tasks and obligations.
How to fix it: Say “No” to commitments that waste your time. These include the following:
Causes that you cannot do anything about
Social gatherings that you don’t care about
Activities that don’t benefit anyone
You have too many material possessions.
Too many possessions can make your home cluttered and complicated. It will add to your to-do list, and can even add expenses (if you pay for storage). Every room has a limited amount of space. As you add more things to the room, there will be less useful space for each item. Also, the room will become harder to organize. If there are too many things in the room, there won’t be enough useful space for every item. In this case, the room will become impossible to organize, and clutter will build up. The room will also become difficult or impossible to use. This will happen if you continually get more items than you get rid of. It is a big problem for shopaholics and hoarders.
How to fix it: Declutter your home with 2 systems of behaviors:
Only buy something if you need it and don’t have a substitute.
Get rid of things that you don’t use.
You are living beyond your means.
If you spend more than you earn on a regular basis, then it will cause trouble. It means that you are going broke or getting deeper into debt. This will complicate everything in your life that involves money. This will make it hard to afford many things including basic necessities. It can also cause difficulties in paying off debts.
How to fix it: You should cut unnecessary spending. Only buy something if you need it and don’t have a substitute. If you are behind on finances, only spend on survival necessities until you get caught up. Survival necessities include shelter, sustenance, sanitation/health, and a source of income.
Your relationship is out of balance.
A voluntary relationship is only good if it benefits all parties. A voluntary relationship is a relationship where all parties volunteered to be in it. If it is harmful to any member, then it is a toxic relationship. If you are on the losing end of such a relationship, you are better off without the relationship. Such a relationship will sap your energy and dignity, and complicate your life.
How to fix it: You should change the terms of the relationship. You should speak your mind and be willing to walk away if it doesn’t improve. If the other person refuses to change, then walk away and your life will be better. If the other person changes, then the relationship is better. If the other person ends the relationship, then your life will improve. Whatever the case, you have nothing to lose.
You misplaced your priorities.
Every useful possession is a tool to help with an experience. For example, a decorative item is a tool to help experience beauty in your home. In fact, any possession that you won’t use as a tool is useless to you. Also, your experiences are primary and your possessions exist to support them.
If you think that material things are more valuable than experiences, you have a misplaced priority. Also, it will complicate your life in a few ways. One way is that you can get too many material things. This will complicate your life in the ways that I mentioned earlier. It can also lead to living beyond your means. This will also lead to complications that I stated earlier.
How to fix it: You should look at material things as the tools that they are. Understand that stockpiling stuff for happiness is like stockpiling screwdrivers for happiness. The results (quality experiences) are always more important than the tools you use.
Your lifestyle is not consistent with your values.
When your lifestyle disagrees with your values, it creates an internal conflict. The conflict is between doing what is easiest and becoming the person you want to be. No amount of excuses will overcome the failure to live up to your own standards. It will degrade your self-image and erode your self-confidence. It can also happen if you fail to pursue your dreams.
How to fix it: Before you take part in any activity, you should ask the following question:
“Is this the person that I want to become?”
If your answer is “No”, then you should have nothing to do with it. For example, if you support animal rights, don’t work on a fur farm. You will like yourself much better if you honor your values. Also, you should follow your dreams. Otherwise, failing to follow them would turn them from dreams into wishes. Then you would be lying to yourself if you continue to call them dreams. So, you should follow your dreams even if you risk failure.
You worry about things that are beyond your control.
Worrying about something that’s beyond your control is a futile exercise. You place undue stress on yourself when you can never change the result. Here are some examples:
Worrying about someone else’s choices and attitudes
Worrying about events that have happened in the past
Worrying about events in the news over which you have no influence
It is very easy to do, but you should make every effort to not do it. Your mental efforts are better spent on other things.
Here is how to fix it: One good way is to ask yourself if worrying will change the situation. Another good action is to see what you can do in its aftermath. You might not be able to change the situation, but you can change how you adapt to it. Regardless, it is best to focus on the things that you can control.
You live your life on someone else’s terms.
Living your life on someone else’s terms is one of the surest ways to complicate your life. It causes you to base your decisions on what you believe other people are thinking. This is a problem when it overrides your own needs and desires. Here are some ways that it can happen:
Keeping up with the Joneses
Following the latest fashions
Letting others determine your goals and dreams
How to fix it: Stop comparing yourself to others. Instead of trying to keep up with others, focus on getting what you want out of life. On that note, nobody else has the right to determine your desires for you. Anyone who tries to do so is not worth pleasing.
In summary, there are many ways to complicate your life. You can drain your resources if you have too many things on your to-do list. It can also happen if you have too many things or if you live beyond your means. You can create internal conflict if your lifestyle clashes with your values. Worrying about things beyond your control can cause you to worry about things you don’t need to. Also, living your life on other people’s terms can cause a combination of problems. So can misplaced priorities and out-of-balance relationships. It is best to avoid all these scenarios if you can.